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"I seem to have gotten smarter, too. I immediately knew what to say tonight, at the restaurant. I never would have been able to do that before, now would I? No, I would not. I knew the right things to say, and the right things to do, so that I would be treated as the man of this family. The waiter naturally assumed I was the head of the family. Yes, I look a little young. But that is not a hindrance, especially when I act like I did tonight. He never even thought that I was anything except your father, and Mom's husband."Mom took over, then, and said, "Bea, I want to ask you a serious question. What if you found out that your cousin Murray Phillips was the very one man for you? What if he was the man that made your heart do flip flops; the one man who made your heart melt, and your body sing, if he held you in his arms?"Just imagine that you have known ... say, fifty men in your life. Not that you were intimate with them, but you were close to them ... like, going out on dates, and so. . Well ... in my letters I told her you were both ... virgins." Virgins!" The children couldn't believe their ears."But, Mama," Harriet looked bemused. "I've been enjoying playing with wee wees for at least five years now."And I've been playing hide the sausage with girls for almost a year," Henry agreed."I know," Hilda sighed. "And I'm very pleased my babies are enjoying themselves with the local boys and girls but what could I tell your Auntie Beth? If I told her the truth she'd have stopped writing. She's my sister. I couldn't bear not hearing from her." Surely she's not that strict about sex?" Henry wondered. "I mean ... even the occasional hand job?" And she couldn't possibly object to titty-fucking, surely?" Harriet asked, disbelievingly."She even disagrees with sucking on wee wees," Hilda explained."No!" The children cried together."But even the President says that's not sexual," Harriet continued. "It's just having fun." Your Aunt Beth disapproves of any contact between boys.
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