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I couldn’t get any words out and I knew I must be bright red. She chuckled playfully. “No need to explain. I’d wear nylons all the time too if I had half a chance. So what are they? I love stockings the best. Tights just keep riding up on me. And please don’t let them be pop socks. I’d have to ask you to leave. Knee highs I can go with, but pop socks are a no-no.” I looked at her and couldn’t see any malice in her face, so stuttered out my answer – stockings. She looked at me approvingly and in that look I felt as if I’d passed some kind of test. “Come on then, I’m going to get out of these sweaty clothes and the offer still stands for you too.” She led the way back into the hallway and then up the stairs. Following her up the steps I couldn’t keep my eyes off her gorgeous arse and marvelled to myself at the turnaround in events. Not only hadn’t she freaked out, but she seemed to be taking me upstairs for sex. I was still in a daze when we got to the landing and she led me to the. ’3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ - She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ - She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’5. She does not ‘NAG’ you - She becomes ‘VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ - She is a ‘LOW COST PROVIDER.’HOW TO SPEAK ABOUTMENAND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ - He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ - He is ‘OVERLY CAUCASIAN.’3 ... He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ - He ‘INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’4. He is not ‘BALDING’ - He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’5. He does not act like a’TOTAL ASS’- He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’(Loved this one!)6. It’s not his’CRACK’you see hanging out of his pants - It’s ‘TROUSER CLEAVAGE.’This is likely a repeat but it is worth a re-read“As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s.The.
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