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I wasn’t really listening. I clearly remember reaching out and putting my hand on hers. Then I heard myself saying, ‘Julia. I think I’m falling in love with you.’ Julia’s eyes got large. She pulled her hand away. Then she stood and ran – I really mean ran – from the coffee shop. I was too stunned to even follow her. How could I be such an ass? Does my mouth have a mind of its own? I could have died there on the spot. Not because of what I said, but because I knew it was true. I drove home wanting to die, wishing I’d kept my big mouth shut. That night I couldn’t sleep. The next morning I went to work and couldn’t work. That night I drove home from work still wishing I could have kept my mouth shut. I was lost. At home I sat in my den staring at the wall. I couldn’t think. I didn’t want anything. The phone rang. I answered on the third ring. It was Julia. ‘I’m sorry about last night.’ ‘Don’t worry about it. I should have…’ ‘No. You don’t understand. You said exactly what I was thinking. Is she here?” I finally ask.“I don’t know,” Lauren says in a quiet voice that sounds almost shaky.“Do you think she is?”“I don’t know,” she says again. We sit there for a few minutes in silence before she speaks again. “It’s hard to tell with her.”“Why would she text that if she wasn’t here?”“Emma, I don’t know,” she suddenly snaps.This morning is the opposite of how I thought it would go, and I automatically scoot back in my chair at her biting tone.“I’m sorry,” she says quickly, leaning over to take my hand. “I just don’t know anything. It wouldn’t be completely out of character for her to send that just to mess with my head. It also wouldn’t be out of character for her to just show up. Nobody from Austin knows where I live, so she won’t show up here.”“You don’t know that, Lauren. I should probably go.”“I don’t want you to leave, Ems. And I don’t want her to have that kind of power over us.”Part of me wants to respond that she already does, considering we couldn’t even go out.
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