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The blackness of the rubber tires. The squeak of my body being plunked down into my cage, my jail.I think to myself how people either treat me as someone to be ignored or someone who can just ‘figure it out for myself’. However, the ones that give me the horrified look when I do open my mouth and must ask for help really set my brain to raging.After all, I didn’t ask for the body to betray me and be so fragile. If I had a time machine, I never would have allowed myself to be in that place when the accident occurred.I hate my prison.I hate my life.I work my way through my apartment. I bang my hand on that sharp turn into the kitchen. I still curse that the counter tops are too high for me. I hate that I must use that grabber device to reach anything.Today is more of what I dread. Another physical therapy appointment. Maybe I will see D’andre. He seems to be the only one who is nice to me, truly nice not that fake nice that the receptionist shows you.D’andre, D’andre please be there. ”After a hot shower and getting dressed in Katrina’s flannel pajamas I fell into the bed and was out like a light. The blinds had been pulled and when I saw the clock I was amazed that it was eight thirty in the morning. I usually woke at dawn. Everyone was at the table sharing breakfast and I was the last person out of bed. When I pulled my hair from my face I remembered that Katrina had got me dressed last night in her flannel pajamas. I was so worn out that I didn’t think to hide myself from her and I wasn’t sure if she looked at me close enough to realize that I had junk down there.Petra handed me a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich on a whole wheat English muffin. With a cup of coffee and a glass of water, I was in heaven. Skreech to a halt. I’m at my workmates house. With his adorable family. Having breakfast. Talk about uncomfortable. Petra’s first language was Ukrainian, then Russian, then English. So when she asked me “Jodi, darling, are you trans or whatever?” I almost didn’t.
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