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And although I love the life she gives me, there are times when I struggle against it.Today was one of those days. She is a cold, unforgiving perfectionist, especially when it comes to our dances. She wants not only that the steps be perfect, but that the dance affect the audience as strongly as she wishes, and leaves them feeling a certain way by the end. This requires acting skills as well as dancing skills. And while I can dance in my own way, and do it with emotion, I have no background or skill at acting, or in formal, structured dance.As a result, she is not pleased with the reactions we have been getting from the audiences.When I was stripping, the music and the audiences’ reactions were enough to carry me, and let me give myself to them. It was real, and they knew it, felt it, and responded to it.But now, I’m trying to act, first as a virgin, then as a tempted woman, finally as a fallen woman. I understand it; I just don’t feel it the way I do exotic dancing.And she is not. “I think Joe really wants to talk to you. Just know we’re hearing you.”“I could do the same thing,” she chuckled. “Grab my bass.”“Go for it,” Cheryl grinned.“Be right back.”When she returned with the bass she got in Woodstock and began to play, Essie jumped to her feet. “Can I play too?” she asked.“Sure kid,” Nigella grinned at her.Essie went to the piano.“What’s going on?” he asked.“Me and Eddie showed her the piano. What notes to play. Mostly the white ones, but a couple she shouldn’t play, and a couple black ones she could. Basically C blues.” As she talked, she played, and Essie played notes too and giggled. “The little stinker snuck out at the after play party and watched us from the top of the stairs improvising and also Constance’s dance. She wanted to play like Eddie and dance like Constance. Eddie and I showed her the keys. She’s quick for a four year old.”“Almost five,” Essie shouted.“Yes she is,” he chuckled.“So... ?” Nigella asked.“I was just wondering about what you.
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