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?Only a chink would lie. ?A Christian would never lie. ?So I told him the truth. ?I told him that I did not pray last night. ?I can feel his glare at me even though I lowered my head and was looking at my legs.I was punished for my intransigence. ?Mr. Louis made me kneel in the corner of the living room the entire night.In the morning Mr. Louis came in and explained his rules to me and said that I need to memorize it by tonight. ?He handed me a hand written note:Dear worthless chink:? Despite your natural inferiority and worthlessness, the Lord has shown His mercy on you. ?The Lord accepts even chinks and niggers for he is the One and Only Lord. ?You, on the other hand, must now show that you are worthy, for you are worthless, but through the grace of God you are made worthy.? Rule 1: ?refer to Me, Mr. Louis as Master Louis and my boys as Sir. ?? Rule 2: ?Kneel in front of the door minutes before Me and my boys come home. ?Never make us wait for you in front of the door.? Rule 3:. ”Reggie Jackson commenting on Tom Seaver: “Blind people come to the ballpark just to listen to him pitch.”Doug Sanders, professional golfer: “I’m working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch on Tuesday, everything will be perfect.”Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers pitcher: “All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives, ‘See, there is a fat guy doing great. Bring me another beer.’”Tommy Lasorda, Los Angeles Dodgers manager: “I found out that it’s not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don’t care and the other twenty percent are glad I’m having them.”E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his twelve knee operations: “My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget.”Vic Braden, tennis instructor: “My theory is that if you buy an ice cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren’t as.
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