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"You ever been in an adult book store baby?" he asked as they entered the sex shop.Yolanda shook her head no as her eyes took in all the pure sex items adorning all the walls and hanging from the ceiling. She was almost hypnotized.It didn't surprise Jim because he had found out a lot of information from her in the past hour or so as they had talked while he was driving her around.She had been raised in a group home of girls that had similar learning disabilities and they were closely watched by several old ladies who made sure no men got around the easily seduced half wits.It turned out that Jack was the grandson of one of the old ladies and the old woman talked Jack into marrying Yolanda because the group home was bankrupt and going to close.There was no place for the young girl to go. So it was a marriage of convenience and Jack got a check from the government for taking care of the mildly retarded girl.Yolanda said they had been married about six months now and had sex maybe five. If he even cares about me to begin with? Etc, etc, etc. Insert standard sadness shit here, blah... As you know, I struggle with trying to distract myself with other tasks or activities that might help take my mind off how unworthy I feel - and how much wine I've consumed in recent months - but nothing is helping. I can't even find someone who is willing to hold me for longer than a few hours, without it being in between meaningless sex. Hell, at this point, even a friend would be nice. Someone I can just talk to who would be willing to listen and make sure I don't die from alcohol poisoning - or loneliness, whichever gets me first. I don't know how in the world I got to this point in my life but Jesus Fucking Christ, it sucks. I want my happy ending too, dammit. I want kids and a loving husband. A family to come home to that will be excited to see me with hugs, kisses and I love you's. I want my husband to come up behind me and hug me while I wash dishes in my sweats and an old,.
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