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She didn’t seem to care either way and the dream sorta ended. When I thought about it later I realized that final kiss before I said “No, your making me uncomfortable” was just like that famous Britney Spears and Madonna kiss with the tongue completely out from both sides and twisted around each other perfect for pictures. Haha. Rereading this dream reminds me more of the kissing scene in Meet the Millers than my usual fantasies. The strangest thing is, even including single dream celebrities like this one, I can count my crushes on women for my whole lifetime on my fingers. There are three celebrities, one friend, two former classmates, and one former coworker:Catherine Zeta Jones Jennifer Aniston,Selena Gomez. Since watching the SNL version of Hands to Myself, my husband and I have both had Selena Gomez on our free pass list.My maid of honor whom I still affectionately call the most beautiful girl in the world on the phone.My high school classmates B andCarrie.My coworker from work. But a lot of times it overwhelmed me emotionally, and I started crying. Once Madison had heard me, rushing into the bedroom to check on me. I had only been wearing a t-shirt, afraid that she knew what I had just been doing. And with the orgasm still not yet subsidized and my tears falling, my sister had held me, cuddling me until I calmed down. And after…It embarrassed me how I remembered it rather than what happened. I tried to tell myself it was natural. That I was just too inexperienced, because I couldn’t deny the truth of it. It had been the best sex of my life.Is masturbation sex? Not technically, but emotionally? Mentally? I like to think sexual expression is still special when it occurs alone. Masturbation can be self-love instead of self-hate if it isn’t always perceived as a substandard substitute. Maybe it was just being sixteen, but I had been happy to take my time with myself, perpetually petrified at feeling silly at the end of another weeping climax.Until now…I thought.
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