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After a long while, Melissa wiped tears from her eyes and, without looking at me, said, “So, do you look at porn?”“Why would you think that?” I asked carefully.“Well, you obviously don’t have a problem looking at naked people. Don’t worry, I won’t tell Natalie. And I won’t judge you. I… I look at it sometimes.”I decided to tell her the truth. “Yeah, sometimes. Things aren’t great between me and Natalie, to tell you the truth.”Melissa looked at me with a wry smile. “Things aren’t great between me and Steven, either. I know this sounds mean, but I really wish he’d lose some weight. He kind of smashes me. Oh, hey, look, it’s ready for you to select your save.”I looked at the monitor and noted that it was indeed ready. I went to click that I wanted to start a new game, but Melissa said, “No, we can play the one you were already playing.” I saw that her eyes were glued on the screen and realized, to my horror, what she was looking at.The picture the game had for the save was of the Sims in. As George Carlin observed, "Being bi doublesyour chances of getting laid before closing time."Back to Arizona. My conference in Phoenix allowed plenty of free time forme to slip away and play girl, and on that fateful day I intended to knockoff one of the objectives on my bucket list: a pedicure. Withtemperatures over 100 degrees, nylons were out of the question, and Ineeded to do something about the gnarly toes peeking out from the strappysandals I planned to wear with my sundresses.Can you begin to imagine the excitement of crossing the gender line, andtrespassing that forbidden boundary between male and female? I guess youcould call me a real-life shape shifter. My pulse was racing that fatefulafternoon as I prepared to morph from hard-charging businessman to foxycougar, savoring the sensations as I went about my transformation. TheBiltmore featured a fabulous array of bathroom amenities, and afterfilling the oversized whirlpool tub with effervescent bath salts,.
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