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I want you to listen to the first track on the Ipod before you open any of the other gifts. Shannon giggled nervously wondering what the first track was, and fiddled around with the Ipod for a few minutes until she figured out how to get the track to play. Leaning back against the couch, she put the headphones on and pressed play. She gasped aloud as his voice came through the headphones. She hadn't been prepared for what she heard, especially since the track was simply titled "Merry Christmas". "Hello slut. I want you to rub your clit while you listen to this but DO NOT CUM." There was a pause and Shannon moaned as she hiked up her skirt, her fingers rapidly finding her clit. She started to tease herself as the recording continued. "Good girl. You are a dirty slut aren't you? I'll bet your cunt is just sopping wet as you sit there playing with yourself. Stop rubbing." Panting, Shannon groaned to herself and withdrew her wet fingers away from her clit. "Lick your fingers off little. The First Floor has wives that love sex.The Second Floor has wives that love sex, have money and like beer.The Third, Fourth, Fifth and Sixth Floors have never been visited.These Are Compliments of SmokeyjoeSome army recruits were being instructed on how to challenge anybody whilst on guard duty. Unfortunately the sergeant instructing them had a bad stutter, so the lecture went like this.“Wwwwhen yyyyou observe ssssomewwwon apppproaching yyyyyouu ssssay ‘Hhhalt, wwwwho ggggoes tthere, apppproach aaaand ggggive tttthe pppasswwwword.”“If tttthey ddddon’t ssssstop, tttthen yyyyou ssssshoot tttthem.”“Bbbbut, fffffor Cccccchrist sssssake, mmmmake sssssure its nnnnot mmmme ffffirst.”Heard about the two Irish homosexual?Michael Firzpatrick and Patrick FitzmichaelThe homosexual cowboy?Road into town and shot up the sheriffThe two homosexuals in a phone box?They were trying to ring each other.A drunk staggered out of the pub, it was a terrible night, the wind was blowing and the rain was.
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