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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives...”Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”Smith climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God.Looking up, he asks the Lord.“God, what does a million years mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A minute.”Smith asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?”The Lord replies, “A penny.”Smith asks, “Can I have a penny?”The Lord replies, “In a minute.”A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to. I also suddenly felt sexier under their joint scrutiny. Yes they were both ogling me.I had their attention alright as I got closer to them, you know the personal zone where they couldn’t really get angry with a fetching woman, just go ‘male gaga’ , and give in and only later scratch their heads and groin and realise how feminine wiles had got the better of them. Well that was the plan. Problem was my approach was too kick-arse raunchy and it ended up being my arse on the line.“Oh please forgive me, my sincerest apologies, “I started in a husky, flirtatious voice.The natural blonde dude didn’t let me get any further, “Oh lady, it’s cool, because we are going to double park you.”I didn’t register his meaning but the darker haired guy added, “DP sweetie, I think you owe us that much, maybe a full airtight moment actually.”Oh I got their drift, well I’d never had an airtight moment, you know a cock in my mouth, a set of fingers in my pussy and a butt plug prepping my arse, let alone a.
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