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But there remained this thing… Then, I had an idea. I had a tale to tell. I wanted to tell a story, an erotic story, that didn’t feature kids of school or university age, that wasn’t a coming of age story, which actually featured people who were ‘grown up’. It would be a slow story, about a man who began as emotionally dead, but who had the support of just a few people who could help him, just enough support. It would also tell the story of those around him. This tale is very definitely not autobiographical, but there is some of me in Stan. In some facets, quite a lot, actually. In the same way, some of the characters have real-life counterparts for some of their personalities. Anne is heavily based on the smartest person I have ever known, who sadly died of cancer a couple of years ago. Elizabeth is an amalgam of three people. There is, I’m afraid, no real life analogue to Denise. Stan’s devotion to Caron is heavily modelled on my own love, of course. Like everything else,. "We will get through this sweetie. Try andremember we love you." She leaves.The doctor puts a light in my eyes, checks out my head. "Well, physicallyyou seem like you are recovering. Now for the memory. What do youremember?"I think for a minute. Can I tell him I was a man an hour ago? No. I say,"I was... Hurt?" I shake my head. "I am sorry, I just don't remember." Okay," he says. "Don't let it worry you right now, focus on trying toget better. I will have them do a scan of your brain, just in case, but Isuspect it's a psychological response to trauma, not a physical one." That lady..." I start. "She says she's my mom?" Yes," he replies."Can she sit with me? I really don't want to be alone." The doctor steps out of the room. Moments later the woman comes in. "Youare okay with me sitting with you?" she asks."Please. I am sorry I don't remember you, but I am very scared and don'twant to be alone. Tell me about me. Tell me about my life. Please," Iplead.She sits down and takes my hand..
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