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.." Fuck off, Dewey. A man is designed to plug a woman with a prick. Tongues and fingers might get a woman off but it don't get me off." He gave a wicked grin, a sign of the old Gino. "Are you having problems in the bedroom department, you poor old sod?" He was about two months younger than me and teased me about my advanced years. He saw from my face I had, and burst out laughing."I bloody well thought so; either that or you've been listening to the gospel according to Saint Cantgetitup, the patron saint of eunuchs and the impotent."To please him, and to steer him away from delving further into my sex life, or rather the lack of it— Gino was extremely perceptive when it came to matters of a sexual nature — I agreed to meet this Lenny bloke.My instructions were worthy of MI6. I had to meet Lenny in The Navigator, a canal side pub. There are more miles of canals in Birmingham than in Venice, but fortunately the pub was only a kick up the arse from the Bull Ring, the centre of the city,. He was my idol. All he'd have to dowas crook his little finger and he could have more pussy than a toiletseat.Kelley was a cheerleader and they were always the easiest to tap anyway.Peter told me one night that he thought she was a little too willingsometimes. I asked him what was wrong with that. That's when I learned myfirst lesson about women. Some women were for dating and some justweren't. It didn't make them bad people either way, but it was something aman needed to understand.So it is at this point that my story really begins.I had thought that everyone was gone. So I settled into the bathroomwith an old copy of Hustler that my brother had nicked a couple yearsbefore. In fact I was thinking about Kelley when Peter barged in thebathroom without knocking and found me jerking off.He waltzed into the bathroom just as I desperately d****d the magazineover my long dong silver, quickly managing to hide my dignity."Looks like little b*o's spanking the monkey again," he laughed,.
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