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This is an example of one of my less-than-stellar moments. I had been twenty-one for a couple months and was doing my part to keep the profits up at the Jack Daniels distillery. My favorite drink was the JD Long Island Iced Tea and I had no problem putting them away. I'd spent this particular hot summer night at a bar along the Sacramento River and that meant there were a lot of boats coming and going at the bar. I like boats. Around ten o'clock this charming man who reminded me of a particular older actor came along and bought me a drink and struck up a conversation with me. That went on until just after eleven when he asked me if I'd like to go someplace quieter, like his boat. Oh, yeah, I wanted to see the boat and thought at the time that leaving the bar whilst shitfaced and alone with a man I'd just met to go see his boat was a FANTASTIC idea! We literally walked out the door of the bar and then down the pier to his boat and he introduced me to a very beautiful cabin cruiser. I. Bubba grabbed his keys and his shotgun. The other guard was facin' the other way. Watchin' the other boys. He never knew what hit him. One shot and his head was gone too. Bubba liked shotguns. The other boys scattered like scared rabbits or somethin'. They was all scared of Bubba. Especially when he had the black eye on him. He yelled at me to get in the work truck and we was on our way. We figured we would have a few hours before anyone found out. We would have too, if the new Warden at the Correctional Facility hadn't decided to pull a surprise inspection of the street work crews. Guess it was a real surprise all right. Anyway it was less than a half hour before we heard the alert go out over the radio. We needed to find us a bolthole and quick. Them State boys wouldn't care that we was just a couple of kids. All they would care about was that we was cop killers. That's when we saw them rollin' fields of corn and the old farmhouse. I wish to God we had taken our chance with the.
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