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Mr Zeke AndersonMrs Taylor AndersonMy name was correct, but just by adding a 'Mrs' in front of my actualname, it was now overtly the feminine form of Taylor. I didn't evenhave to change my name for it to be shouting WOMAN to me. And worse,whenever I flashed the cards, I would be seen not only as a woman butas a married woman. Married to Zeke.Even with my hairy chest peeking through the sweater, I still got over20% of the study groups seeing me as female. Not feminine. Female.So naturally the next step was to remove my body hair. The womenrefused to let me shave it off as they said my facial hair experiencewould be repeated with quickly growing stubble. That's when I learnedwhat women go through when getting all of their body hair waxed. I'msure the girls told the salon that this was for a psychologyexperiment and that I had never experienced it before as the womanworking on me didn't blink an eye at my murderous, yet quiet, screamsat each ripping of my hair and skin came and. I don't think I've even asked their names the past few times. Thankfully, they don't mind that.Sometimes there are handsome ones who come along who seem nice enough but I prefer to blindfold them beforehand. Truth be told, I do it because I can't stand the thought of another man that I'm attracted to seeing how ugly I am underneath my clothes. Gratefully, they don't mind that either.Some of them I still seek out as well, since a few have given me what I need in this aspect of my life. Choking, slapping, and all the rough pounding help me forget as well as serve as a reminder. I can take some pleasure alongside the pain, but my greatest enjoyment is being able to wake up without feeling heartbreak from all sides.I enjoy being able to get lost in pleasure somehow but, naturally, I long for myself to be whole again. I want to feel as I felt before all this, for my mind to go back and forget absolutely everything. I no longer want to feel like I'm broken into tiny pieces that are.
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