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My skin is kind of caramel colored, and I'm somewhat proud of how silky smooth it is. I kept my black hair long, about down to my shoulder blades.Despite what my parents thought, I had been sexually active, just not terribly experienced. At this point of my life I was in between boyfriends, and the last boyfriend was the first one I'd had sex with. The sex wasn't as magical as the other girls in my dorm had lead me to believe it would be; and during that part of my life, finding times we could be together was harder than I would have liked.But here I was now, 23 years old and living on my own for the first time in an apartment free of Roommates! ...and boyfriends. It was ironic that I had nobody to share the new found freedom with, but I was sure it would come with time. I may not have been a bombshell, but I wasn't unappealing. Besides, at first it was quite freeing. Being on my own. No brothers, sisters, roommates. No Catholic mother telling me to pray to God for forgiveness. "It takes more than that to be a boy." But I don't understand Aunt Miriam," I said with some frustration."If you had shown up at the door wearing a dress and acting the same asyou have behaved since you've been here, I'd assume you were emotionallya girl. You have the disposition of a girl."I was very perplexed, and Miriam said, "Your problem Martin is that youassume you're a boy because you've been raised to see yourself as beinga boy, but you're actually a girl. Sure I can teach you some things thatgirls do, like when they're on first or second base with a boy, butthat's all I'm doing, teaching you something that you never learnedbefore because your mom and dad naturally thought that you should beraised as a boy. You only need to catch up to what other girls learnedin their childhood and then you'll be indistinguishable from any girl." I don't know Aunt Miriam," I said."I'm only saying these things to hopefully help you. Ultimately, it's upto you to understand yourself and I'll love.
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