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”“The leftover food would be more than enough,” I said with a slight nod. “Thank you for doing this.”He puttered around the kitchen for a few minutes before returning with a plate full of food and a stein of liquid. I grabbed the food and drink and, after giving him my thanks, made my way to an empty table. The food was so delicious, and I honestly believed this man was an artist. I had never tasted food this good; I mean the tavern was good, but I didn’t remember all of it.I took my time, enjoying each bite. The day had not begun when I had walked in, and now the sun was starting to rise. Rays of light were coming through the windows as I swallowed my last bite of food, savoring the flavor.As I got up to take my plate back to the kitchen, I felt a hand push me back down onto the bench. Looking over my shoulder I saw a large man, he looked to be a half breed of some kind. Though humanoid he had red skin and horns, kinda reminding me of Hellboy, but without the tail and massive right. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart...Dear Mrs. Harris,Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are “documented by our video surveillance cameras”:1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in House wares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned.
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