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Then I reached around to try to fasten the hooks. I struggledfor a while. My wife grinned and said "maybe we should have started youwith front hook bras." "Very funny," I replied with some sarcasm but with a smile on my face.I knew how much she loved to tease.It was difficult, but finally I got one of them to fasten, but Icouldn't get any more. "Okay, I'll fasten the other hooks," my wifesaid finally. "That's progress that you got one fastened. You'll beslipping in and out of your bras as quickly as I do before you know it."She smiled as she said the last remark. I knew she had to be kidding.I had watched her put on her bras without even thinking what she wasdoing and I knew doing it once or twice a week at most that I wouldnever learn to do it very well.I slipped on the panties. They certainly felt much nicer than the plainwhite male underwear I usually wore. The material felt so much nicerand it fit tight against my bottom. It was a very erotic feeling. Islipped on the. It’s exactly the right term to use. You feel bad, you cut. You feel bad about cutting, you start to feel worse. And you cut again. And it keeps on going, and going, and going... It’s very hard to explain and incredibly difficult for people to comprehend but hurting yourself is very addictive. I have no idea why but that’s the only word that I can find to at least try to explain. People often mistake is as a suicide attempt but that’s just because the most common place to cut is arms. It’s not about dying, it really isn’t. It can be a cry for help but for most it’s to help cope with emotional pain. It’s a completely stupid way to cope; I’ll be the first to admit that. But I will also admit that it worked unfortunately. Like any other addiction, soon your normal ‘fix’ isn’t enough. You have to cut more or sometimes find something else to hurt yourself with to feel the same effects. It’s completely fucked up. I’m lucky in that I didn’t actually get that far. I did stop.
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