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“Oh, hell no! We’re not going in there!”“Yes we are, Sam. We must!”“Are you freaking crazy? I’m a man, for crying out loud! They will stop you at the desk and ask what you think you’re doing!”I hesitated. “Quite right…” We pulled up beside the surgical supply room and clicked open the door. I dove inside, just for a second, then re-emerged with the necessary items.“Here, put on this surgi-cap (it looked like a blue bonnet), and we’ll put this gown on your top here.”Sam reluctantly agreed as I pulled out a small supply of make-up from my lab coat pocket. “Now, let’s get some rouge on these cheeks,” I said, brushing rapidly to cover his whiskers. “And a little eye liner,” I continued. “Let’s darken these eyebrows slightly.”I stood back to admire my work. “Your lashes are gorgeous, Sam. We can leave them as is. Now pucker up!”I rolled the lip gloss on heavy. “Strawberry,” I said. “You like?”“This is madness! Absolute madness! How did you know I like strawberry?”“Never. But she was elegantly handsome with an aura of classiness. (Or, to us commoners, she was ‘posh totty’.)I heeded Dan’s earlier warning that she was a socialite who would soon be hunting a wealthy husband. Unfortunately, it became abundantly clear that I was in her cross-hairs. Hugo found it hilarious. (I smacked him round the head when I had a discrete opportunity.) His words were, “You may as well give in now. If she’s decided she’s going to have you, she will, even if she has to beat you unconscious and drag you to her bed.”I asked him, “So how can I present myself to put her off? What are her turn-offs?”He shrugged. “You could announce that you’ve given away all your money and you’re joining the priesthood. Or you could just take her upstairs for a quick blowjob. Once she sees your tiny cock, she’ll run a mile!” I tried to smack him again, but he did a runner.Gillian cornered me again not long after that. I tried exaggerating my northern accent to play up being a commoner. And I.
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