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The boy goes up to his mom and asks her. She responds, “A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!” He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies, “Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!” Next, the boy asks his brother who replies, “A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!” When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says, “Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.”Three guys and a lady were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says, “I’m a YUPPIE. You know, young, urban, professional.” The second guy says, “I’m a DINK. You know, double income, no kids.” The third guy says, “I’m a RUB. You know, rich urban biker.” They turn to the woman and ask, “So what are you?” The woman replies, “I’m a WIFE. You know - Wash, Iron, Fuck, Etc.”This one is. And then, another surprise - no familiar bush! It was the first time I had ever felt a completely bald mound. It must have been freshly shaved; there wasn’t a trace of stubble. I headed further south.“Yes, it is; it’s very wet,” I croaked through my constricted throat, my middle finger slipping in easily. Gently I began to stroke her the way I knew how from 33 years of marriage to my very sensual late wife.“Mr. B! You know exactly what to do! Don’t stop! I bet you’re good in bed!”“I used to be, Suzanne,” I sighed. “Now I mostly watch.”“Oh, so you’re a voyeur!”“Not by choice,” I was going to say, but before I could get the words out we were interrupted by the guttural sounds of a certain sports car we both knew as it pulled up to the curb.“It’s Angelo! He’s back! Hide, Mr. B! He gets very jealous.”I took her advice, ran the five steps to my dark garage, ducked in through the open door and hid behind an upturned ping-pong table. Savoring the smell on my finger was small compensation.
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