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They don’t have a land line only cell phones and Judynever keeps hers charged so I got a call from Ray theday of the party saying his fucking water pump went outand he was struck until the next day but he couldn’t geta hold of Judy and for me to let her know he would missthe party. I told him I would let her know and for himand not to worry that I would watch over her at theparty.When I looked after their place two weeks before, I’dmade a copy of their front door key so about 7 o’clock,about the time Ray would have gotten home from his run,and about the time the party was starting, I let myselfin and made my way to their bedroom and put on Ray’sDarth Vader costume and walked into the party. When Judy saw me she ran up to me, putting her armsaround my neck and hugging me, whispering in my ear, “Ihope you’re horny tonight, because I know I sure am.” I knew I couldn’t betray myself by saying anything so Ijust nodded my head at her and. I decided that with a couple of mirrors I could do the job just fine. I checked out through a cutesy little white girl's register."I have a set just like this I use to clip my poodle. I just love them," she said smiling."Yeah well I don't have a dog. I just have thin limp ratty hair that is about to become history," I said with a smile. I was even more amused by how horrified she looked.I talked big but it took me over an hour to work up the courage to make that first cut. I wasn't a bit worried by the amount of bourbon it took to work up the nerve. How much skill was going to be required to shave my head?Fortunately even though my hair hung down it was limp and dry enough to be easy for the humming sheers to move through. It took a dozen passes, at least, but in the end my scalp was visible with just a brown stubble over it. I needed to go shopping again, I thought. I needed one of those chemotherapy head rags, without a doubt.I had just enough bourbon in me to make that a stupid.
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