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? I gottwo more zip ties and threaded them through the hoops on her thigh cuffs, thentightened them around the stools legs, this meant that her knees were keptabout two feet apart and they couldn't slide off the bottom as the stool hadlarge steel feet, this would also prevent the stool from getting knocked overif she started to thrash around.? Toensure she was securely in place I got a luggage strap from my bag and wrappedit around the seat of the stool and over her back, then fastened it reasonablytight and scrambled the combination.?Last but not least I used a padlock to fasten her wrist cuffs behind herback and strapped a ball gag around her head, as a finishing touch I pulled allof her long hair back into a pony tail and put a zip tie around it to keep itin place. I was nowready to start the fun, I took out a box of four golf balls and emptied theminto a bowl of lube that I had sorted earlier.?I made sure they all coated and then took the first one, placed itagainst her asshole. She’ll only be able to read me when I’m not focused on her. She’ll be able to eavesdrop on my life but never communicate directly with me. In a way, that will be a relief.Why would you say that? Jan said.Because, to me, it’s the simple truth when I say she is dead to me. This new reality spares me, the old Jake, from having to have any direct contact with her. I don’t think I could make myself do it. I learned something last night. There are worse ways for a relationship to end than death.You can’t mean that.I didn’t create the way things are, Jan. I’m just trying to live through them. When Dom Jake talks to her, the only thing that will concern him is managing his slave and ensuring that he gets his due. If I were able to talk to her, well, I’d get all hung up on how I’ve been rejected by my mother, my lover, my closest friend. I’m sure that in her mind the only thing she did was spurn me in favor of a lover who excites her more. She probably still feels fondly for me as her son..
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