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Coach Budd called me over. “Something wrong, Randell? You seem out of sorts.”“Sorry Coach, I went for a run last night and overdid it.”“Hrmph,” grunted Coach Budd inscrutably. He scribbled away on his clipboard while we waited expectantly. Finally he reached a decision and read out his team selection. The first four names were the runners who filled the first four places during the trial. The fifth name was the runner who was in sixth place, Tom Dickerson, the team captain. “And Randell,” Coach Budd concluded, “with Baylee the travelling reserve.”“That’s a fucking joke,” said Corwin Baylee in a loud whisper. “I finished fifth, well ahead of Randell. He’s only been picked because he’s gay.”“Do you have something to say, Baylee?” asked Coach Budd. “Come on, I’m sure we’d all like to benefit from your words of wisdom.”I suspected Coach Budd had heard every word.“No sir,” said Corwin Baylee, “just trying to get my breath back.”Coach Budd gave Baylee a long hard stare. “We’ll have another. You refuse, because you're not a fucking dumbass that accepts drinks from strangers. That's just common sense. You assert dominance by buying him a drink. Unfortunately, your so-fucking-hot-you-actually-might-die boyfriend is standing right next to you. He didn't find your stunt amusing, and by the end of the night, your ass is fifty different shades of red. 4: You're looking for a book at the library. You're talking to your dear friend on the phone, but you two can get a bit loud at times. The librarian gets tired of your shit, and asks you to "keep it down a little". In case you didn't know, that's librarian for "fuck off, you bitch, and shut the fuck up" How do I know this? I'm a librarian. Is this related to the story in any way possible? Absolutely not. Anyway, you don't listen to her, because fuck librarians. You prefer the parks and recreation department. Well, you continue to loudly talk to your friend. That's a big mistake, sweetheart. 5: You and your boyfriend are twitch.
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