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Then out of the blue she said something that I will never forget to my dyin' day regardless of what happens to us in the final analysis. "Darnell, you don't satisfy me. You're not terrible in bed. I just came; I have to give you that; and I, we, usually both do. But it's not enough. Tonight was a test for me, for you too. Darnell, I have taken a lover, and I am going to keep on seeing him. I had to tell you. I can't go on cheating on you like I have for these past several weeks. "I'll understand if you want a divorce," she said. I looked at her in such shock that I think she was beginning to laugh, but she checked herself when the tears started clouding my vision. Well, I guess she still did have some feeling for me, after all. "What?" I choked. It was all I could think of to say. "I know this is a shock. I don't want a divorce," she said. "I love you not him. But, I will not tread on your pride and my self-respect by treating you like an unknowing cuckold." "It's up to you,. In fact, she thought that the freckles helped make her look much younger. She knew that she could easily pass for her early twenties. Jennifer was often asked for id in bars to prove that she was old enough to drink.How times change she thought. When she was in her twenties, she would get furious when she was asked for age identification. Now she would display her driver's license with pride. Someday she thought she would try to pass herself off as a twenty-year-old to some young guy in a bar and see what happens.As Jennifer continued to look at herself in the mirror she felt a wave of sadness come over her. She knew that on the outside she appeared to be a confident and aggressive businesswoman. While she put on a good show, in fact, she was not feeling very good about herself anymore. Her paradox was that while she wanted wild and nasty sex, she also wanted tenderness and love. She wasn't certain that she could have both.Since the divorce she had often felt rejected, lonely, and.
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