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' In my head I made York about 200 miles away.'Well' I said, 'That's no good, you'll be exhausted and what if you can't get a room anywhere tomorrow night?' She looked like she was going to cry again. 'They've given me a room with a sofa bed - would you like to share my room? I realise that you don't know me but what do you say?'The woman smiled and in that second the radiance of her beauty shone through, her green eyes lit up and the smattering of freckles across her nose almost glowed. 'Thank you' she said, 'My name's Charlotte' 'I'm Phil', I replied smiling back at her.We made our way to the room giving each other a potted history of our lives - she was 30, divorced, no k**s and lived in York but wanted to move somewhere, anywhere to get away from her ex-husband & his interfering family. I had sold the family business and was going to work for the supermarket in the least responsible job they would give me after a lifetime of responsibility. 'What would you like to do first? Get. Let’s go to that dark alley over there.”So they go into the alley, where she takes off her blouse to reveal the most perfect breasts in the world. As soon as he sees them, he grabs them and starts caressing them, fondling them slowly, kissing them, licking them, burying his face in them - but not biting them.The woman finally gets annoyed and asks, ‘Well? Are you gonna bite them or not?’“Nah,” says the little old Jewish man... “Costs too much!”These are compliments of J & B.Paraprosdokianis a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected - and oft times humorous:1. If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they’d eventually find me attractive.2. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they’re flashing behind you.3. Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.5..
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