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There were many unfortunate possibilities, "Custler Fuck" being the most obvious. I gave strict orders to never use the phrase, even in-house. However, using "CF" in a graphic was fair game, as were any rhyming words (can you believe there was a professional hockey team called the Ducks?). We had contests to see who could come up with the wittiest play on Mrs. Custler's name. My personal favorite was, "No AC to DC", which I had printed on bumper stickers.If it seems childish, it was. Through most of the spring and summer, I was down at least 20% in polling. Since my personal money was also tight, I spent almost as much time in Concord on business as I had the year before. That is why I was in Concord when the raw sewage encountered the rotating ventilation blade. My part was being sandbagged by a scandal on live local news. The bit would later win an award.As scandals go, it was small change. Mrs. Custler's son was pulled over for running a stop sign. The moving violation escalated. Well, the boy I had in mind as my first candidate was my old friend Joe Ashley. Back when we were both 13, some boys in the neighborhood had a “peter show.”This was for bragging rights over who had the largest penis. Joe, another guy, and I were old enough to get erections, so we were the only ones who stood a chance of winning. When it got to erection time, I came in second and Joe won the contest. So far as I know, that was the last peter show held in our neighborhood. At least, neither of us was ever invited to compete in more such contests.Anyway, the next afternoon after school, I snagged Joe to discuss a possible job offer. Sue was waiting in the car to give me a ride home, and she would make the same offer of a ride to Joe. “Hey, Joe, wait up. I need to talk to you. Do you have a few minutes?”“Yeah, I have a few minutes. I’m supposed to show up at Benny’s Burgers to interview for a job, probably as a floor swabber. Dad says that I need a job to replace my allowance which he.
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