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Theonly thing that kept me from screaming the truth was knowing that beingexposed as a man-bride would be far more humiliating than playing wifefor a day. At least there was no one from Andrea's family there whocould recognize me."You look really nice," whispered my---my husband."Thank you," I answered flatly. While everyone tells the bride she'sbeautiful, I feared that people actually meant it today."Okay," said the photographer. "Now lets get the couple kissing."While I was able to conceal my disgust at partaking in a homosexualkiss during the wedding, I couldn't do it again."I need to sit down," I blurted, remembering just in time to keep myvoice shrill. Without waiting for an answer, I slumped on a bench.Nikki came over and handed me a glass of water. "Andrea, honey, I knowyou're nervous, but you have to pull yourself together. You have such asour look on your face."Making sure only Nikki was in my line of sight, I leaned in to her."Bitch," I mouthed.Nikki looked startled, then. Fact five, Facts one through four didn't add up.The water was just getting comfortable when I stepped out and started drying myself off. Something was going on."That was fast," Mom said when I came out, dressed in jeans and a turtleneck sweater."Should I wake Traci for breakfast?" Your dad took Traci shopping an hour ago."Fact six, Dad was shopping when he should have been working. Fact seven, Dad hates shopping, especially with Mom or Traci. Fact eight, somebody had to be dying.Mom brought out a huge platter loaded with a giant omelette, hash browns, and both link sausage and bacon. I had to be dying.But I hadn't been to the doctor. No, I went a month ago, just before football ended. I'd hurt my ankle and he took an x-ray. But an x-ray wouldn't show a tumor or anything like that. Would it? And people don't get tumors in their ankles. I was pretty sure they didn't.But if I wasn't dying, it had to be somebody close. Mom, or Dad, or Traci. They all looked good. Traci couldn't be dying;.
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