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A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one. Hands are already in the air.Lutherans: Change?!?!?!?!?!Mennonites: At least 15. One to change the bulb and 3 or 4 committees to approve the change. Oh, and a casserole.Mormons: 5. One man to change the bulb and 4 wives to tell him how to do it.Pentecostals: 10. One to change the bulb and 9 to pray against the spirit of darkness.Presbyterians: None. God has predestined when the lights will go on and off.Roman Catholics: None. They use candles.Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favour of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey, you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You. "And tell me, Jay. Why shouldn't a woman smoke a cigar anyway? We have taste buds just like men. In fact, ours are more sensitive to the subtleties of flavor. Does my smoking them threaten you in some way?" Debbie then seemed to soften a bit. "If you're a good boy, tonight will be really special. If you want me as much as I want you right now, get yourself to the bed. I'll be up in a few minutes. I am still amazed that I listened to her, but there was something in me that could not resist. I went to the bedroom and awaited her arrival. I have to admit that I was as turned on as I had ever been. As Deb entered the bedroom, I was almost in agony with anticipation. She said, "I think you're going to like my being in charge. At least in the bedroom. We're going to play some games tonight that I think we'll both enjoy." With that, she took out a pair of handcuffs. Now, I had never thought that I was the kind of guy who would get turned on by handcuffs, but I figured I'd play along..
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