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"As soon as the camera's rolling you just go into your thing. We'll keep on shooting continuously--two cameras covering the whole scene--long shot and close-up--let's get it all in one take." You better!" she said. "Clarence might not hold up if you need retakes. He's a one-shot man."The director held up his hand and yelled, "Okay, we're rolling--and GO!"Julia set the dog down and he trotted away from her, out of the circle of light. Then she took a cigarette that someone handed her and struck a "prostitute on a street-corner" pose, with hand on out-thrust hip.A boy came walking in, wearing a large cardboard fig-leaf. He stopped, eyed Julia up and down, circled around her once, and then raised up his fig-leaf and flipped his red-painted prick at her in a hip-bump.She put her nose in the air and turned away from him in scorn. He shrugged, bumped his blue ass towards her disdainfully and moved away.Then Lord Clarence the poodle came high-stepping in. He stopped just as the boy had. ”Craig thanked his mother and ran out the door. But something about his mother’s explanation bothered him. So he sought out his father. Dad was in the garage.“Dad,” Craig said, “the guys at school are using words I don’t understand.”“What words, son?” “Pussy and bitch. I asked Mom, but I don’t think she told me the right meanings.”“Son, never ask your mother about these things. Ask me. Let me explain what they mean for you.” He pulled a Playboy from his workbench, turned to the centrefold and drew a circle around the pubic area.“Everything inside the circle is pussy,” he said.“Okay, Dad. Then what’s a bitch?”“Everything outside the circle.”Private LessonsA husband and wife love to golf together, but neither of them are playing like they want to, so they decide to take private lessons. The husband has his lesson first. After the pro sees his swing, he says, “No no, no, you’re gripping the club way too hard!”“Well, what should I do?” asks the man.“Hold the club gently,” the pro replied,.
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