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I decided I had to let it go. Discarding that baggage seemed to open adoor. Once through it I was able to start accepting my new body and theemotions that come with it. After that, everything started to quicklyfall into place.I wanted to demonstrate this feeling, make it real in some concrete way.I confided to Lydia that I wanted to try dressing up for you and shejumped in and helped me with this outfit. I really like it. She helpedwith my hair and make-up too."She brushed back a few curls from her face, "I wasn't the person Ithought I was. I was caught in a trap. This feels more like the realme. I'm now who I am supposed to be!" She pirouetted happily.I know who I really am. And I'm certain that I'm a woman, not a man. Itfeels so natural now. Bikers, beer, sports, sex. It was all so shallow.Anyway, it's hard to even remember what it was like anymore. I feel morealive and connected now. Deep inside I must have always been a woman. Ijust didn't realize it until you gave me this. That’s a dangerous habit. I’ve seen lots of companies get into trouble because their leaders simply will not acknowledge that the real world isn’t what they want it to be.“So I work very, very hard not to fall into this trap. I’m still not always good at it, but I’ve mostly learned to recognize when I’m trying to avoid looking at something. I know that’s when I’ve got to force myself to really pay attention, open my eyes wide.”Erik glanced over at Melissa to gauge her reaction. She seemed quiet, looking at the road ahead. He brought his attention back to the road as well, downshifting to negotiate a curve. Breathing a silent sigh of relief, he was glad to see they were almost home. This conversation had turned far more serious than he had expected. It was not often that a woman confronted him, and certainly never this early in a relationship. He admitted to himself that no one had ever nailed him with such painful accuracy. He tried to squash a fearful protectiveness that he felt.
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