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He peered at me over his desk as though he was surprised to see me there. He pressed his fingertips together and rested his index fingers under his chin, as only medicos seemed to do."How on earth did it happen?" he asked.I sighed and briefly closed my eyes; everyone wanted to know how it happened. It occurred to me that if it had been a two-inch cut in my arm, or my leg, or even my face, then people wouldn't really care how it happened. But get a deep two-inch slash in your dick, and suddenly every bastard wants to know the grisly details. Fucking ghouls, all of them - like people slowing down to stare greedily at a car accident, wanting to absorb every morbid detail.I raised my eyelids and slowly focused on Mr. Roger's round face hovering over his desk like a moon looming over the horizon. Maybe he wanted to chronicle this one and submit it to The Lancet, I thought rancorously.I decided to give him the long version. I gritted my teeth and began: "Just over five months ago I was. " Like all husbands, Jordan was absolutely clueless about sizes. "Idon't know," he finally admitted."Would she be about your size?" Samantha asked, cannily."Oh! Yes," Jordan said, with evident relief. Problem solved! "I've wornher clothes before, just last week, in fact." That part was certainlytrue."Excellent," Samantha said, trying her best to hide a smirk. "Candy?"An eager-looking younger woman with glasses and a clipboard stepped up."Yes ma'am?" Take down these measurements."Jordan spent the next 10 minutes standing and posing as Samantha expertlymeasured every possible dimension of his body, repeating the measurementsto Candy who noted them in Jordan's file. (I have a file? At a bridalshop? Jordan fretted, suddenly freaking out about the paper trail he wasleaving as Jordan Nicole). Samantha ran the tape measure around hiswaist, complimenting Jordan on his waist training, then measured acrosshis hips, down each arm, and around his hips, her light fingers brushingagainst his body.
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