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I had learnt a lesson then,being obvious about my intent would land me in trouble.I learnt to say no.I learnt to preserve myself. I learnt to control myself.I understood one thing it was is my best interest to be in control rather than give it to others.I had decided If i had to do i would decide with whom and where and how.While I shrouded myself with the calmness of peace and simplicity at my heart lay raging emotions of sexual fantasy just as the serene pacific ocean appears peaceful yet shrouds violent volcanoes underneath itself.My mind went back to days when during my first abroad trip,after I got my job.It was the first time I had let my veil down and been my real self.Some of the best moments in my life and certainly for few others were made then.But even then there were rules.Then my mind came back to the present and things that had happened.For the second time ,I had lost control of the situation and allowed someone to take advantage.It angered me yet somewhere gave a sense. ." Quiet! When I want you to speak I will give you permission. You really are quite stupid aren't you Marianne?" ... Yes, my husband." Stupid and ugly like a cur dog. So when you act like a dog you shall be treated like one. Have you eaten?" No, my husband." Then sit there and beg like a dog!" he said as he began partaking of the breakfast she had prepared.The insults stung her as they always did, but it was quickly becoming painfully apparent, her life with Cornelius would be no better, in fact worse in many respects, than her life as her father's mistress."... Please... may I have something to..." I said like a dog, Marianne!"Her self respect long since destroyed, Marianne knew nothing else to do except comply. She began whining like a dog begging for food, laid her head against Cornelius' leg."When a dog is really hungry it will lick its master's feet," he observed.Her eyes met his for only the briefest moment but while his held nothing but contempt, hers were filled with the.
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