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I fantasized about what it would be like constantly, and when I fucked my new girlfriend I wondered what it was like to be fucked instead of being the one doing the fucking. I'm bisexual and my sexual DNA is overwhelmingly straight so I knew that I wouldn't have - and I didn't want to have - too many gay encounters. So I took my time and waited until I met a guy who I was really hot for. And who also was really hot for me. Mutual lust is what makes a fuck a hot fuck and I wanted every one of the handful of gay fucks I would soon have to be a really, REALLY hot fuck. My gay sexual attraction is driven by two things: a cute black man with dark skin and a very big dick between his legs. And I went out to find a man like that. I went out a few times alone to some gay bars which was a totally new experience for me. I got comfortable the second or third time and around six months after I began my quest I finally met someone who fit the profile. I saw him across the room and walked up to. " I mean to think to myself but seemingly by mistake I speak it out loudly as my Eyes widen up you realize that this might not be the right thing to say to a suicidal person. He just chuckles and shruggs it off. I start moving towards him. "You look like shit that's been eaten by a dog and puked out into an even bigger pile of shit" he says, eyeing me up from head to toes. "Funny, a jumper talking to me about how my life sucks" I answer, although not meaning to say anything once again."Yes, I am going to jump and end my life, but it's not how you think. My life doesn't suck, it's quiet the opposite: My life is too perfect. For about 20 years I have lived THE life. A life everybody dreams of. But unfortunately, I have come to notice that I miscalculated. What I thought would bring happiness only made me lonely.What I seeked most, seems like a foolish dream nowadays. I am sick of this life I can't be sure of if it's mz own accomlishment or not. Idon't want to continue any longer, but.
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