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What was the name of it... I can't remember." That's funny, it was that Danish film, and I can't remember the name of it either... huh... go figure. Anyway, we started to neck in there, and afterward, we took it to his car." How was his kissing on a scale of one to ten?" A twenty."She said it straightforwardly and so quickly that I was at a loss for words for a bit. This was unusual. Rhonda had a great scoring system for kissers, and if she had upped him to a ten, then this guy would have been something exceptional. A twenty? Wow... just wow.I was immediately jealous of him. I knew that if Rhonda was having a great kissing time, she would kiss and kiss and kiss until either her lips were too sore to continue or things had escalated beyond the kisses. Usually, things escalated beyond the kisses at some point in there. This man had to have been a great kisser to rate so highly a score from her. Never had anyone hit over a ten with her. Never."How does a twenty kiss anyway? I mean... I. Tape, perhaps. A few, perfunctory unwinding turns ‘round each of your wrists and ankles. But somehow the rope is aesthetic. The column of your limb, snug, sweaty, next to the hard, unforgiving, warm-honey of the wood. I can’t quite assimilate- digest- the visual assault on my senses.Do you entertain much?“Count with me”, I begin. You know what’s coming. You nod.Even though you’ve played this dumb-ass game a hundred times, the odd position; the atypical use of this everyday furniture has knocked your balance, and with it your certainty. You’re still mentally, futilely trying to calculate the odds of you falling off the chair, when the first, hard blow lands across your buttocks.The blow isn’t that hard. Hard enough to elicit your first, grateful gasp. But your centre of gravity is off; you think the chair is going over. Of course: it doesn’t, but you forget to utter the number: one.“Oh dear. Start again…”Of course we have some beautiful bits and pieces. ‘Objet’. Decanters- vintage, of.
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