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Entering the breakfast nook, I spied upon the table and laid out in the finery befitting a rank of gentleman which, to be truthful, I was certainly not but aspired to be, a lovely breakfast of kippers, boiled eggs with salmon, scones and jam. My maidservant Miss Lillian stood by, hot kettle in her hand and filling up the waiting tea cup with piping hot water. ‘Good day!’ I exclaimed, more gregariously than I actually felt, for while the smell of the food perked me up substantially, it was not enough to erase the overall lethargy I was still feeling due to the overabundance I had partaken of the night before. Lillian responded in kind, and I realized quite painfully that the sound of another human’s boisterous reply was enough to set my teeth on edge and start a throbbing in the front area of my brain. ‘G’day, Mister! Oy, and ain’t is a lovely one!?’ ‘Yes, yes, certainly…’ I trailed off, looking down at the floor to rest my eyes from the sudden and violent attack of pain I was. "This woman is crazy," I thought.Turning from the closet, she was wearing a white plastic bib apron andpink rubber gloves with the cuffs turned up. Her arms were laden with whoknows what as she went to the counter top and put them down. One itemglared out at me from the sink. It was a pink and white box clearlylabeled, "Bulb Syringe" with the picture of a smiling woman. A large jarnext to it had in black block letters, "Depilatory." I'm in deep shit!" I thought as I heard her turn on the faucets in thetub.As water began filling the tub, she grabbed a jar and bottle off thecounter and poured some of their contents into the water. The roomquickly filled with the aroma of sweet flowers. Next, at the sink, sheturned on the taps and plugged the drain. Reaching over, she picked upthe box labeled "Bulb Syringe" and withdrew the contents. It was a bigpink flexible rubber ball with a large ridged white plastic nozzle of somesort.Turning off the taps, she fastened the nozzle to the.
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