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One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.” The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?” “Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.” This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?” The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three. She’s your typical lady on the streets, wild woman between the sheets. She has never ‘stepped out’ on me, at least I am not aware if she did. I work out of town a lot, I have been doing this for about 5 year now. When I first started working out of town, I gave her the option of finding a part-time lover to keep her occupied while I was gone. Telling her it would be alright, as long as she told me the details afterward. Regardless, she never did take a lover in all those years, saying she would have no problem waiting until I got home twice a month. I believe her when she says she was faithful, she’s just that kind of girl. But, now that I have been home more, we sometimes talk about her hooking up with another guy so I can watch. She says she still doesn’t think she could do it but at least we are talking about it. Like other couples I have read about, we watch porn DVD’s and we talk about her getting a lover, lately I’ve been getting more porn with mostly black guys doing mature.
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