I wanted him to realize the impact of what he has done. I wanted to understand why he did what he did. I wanted him to feel the pain and humiliation I felt. To best honest, I don’t want to teach him any sort of lesson, I want to feel powerful and control. I want to tap into the darkness within me. I want to be the pain and humiliation that I want him to suffer. I also want his body to respond when he doesn’t want it to. I want him to feel shame. For any plan to work, I have a shopping list. I have had a long time to plan this and have a long list of items I need. This is not going to be an in and out revenge. I plan on spending quite a bit of time with Russ. I have rope, a gag made out of leather with a metal bit built in. I have handcuffs, a taser, my switchblade, duct tape, two VERY large dildos, nipple clamps, and an appetite for revenge. I have a few flicks of differing varieties and made sure to include some kiddie porn I downloaded from the web. I have lubricant, scissors,. ..development, there isn't anything I can do aboutthis? Right?" I'm a girl dad, and I always have been, only it didn't show before, andnow it does." I was hoping that you would go to college, then come in with me as apartner, but..." But why can't I still do that? What I mean is, what's changed, otherthan my name and what I'll wear? And what? Girls aren't smart enough todo what you do?" It's not like that, you know what I meant! It's just that I just neverthought anything like this would happen to me!" Happen to you? What about me? Do you know how hard it was for me to keepthis a secret? How much I wanted to tell you? Or how hard I had to workto be the son you wanted? I tried dad, I really did, you know that, butthis is who I am, and I just can't hide it from you or anyone else anymore, and it's not just because I'm starting to develop! I'm simply tiredof hiding from everyone, and lying to you!" I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. It's just so..." Dad sat back andsighed. "You're.
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