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She was so embarrassed by it that she never said anything to anyone about it. After a few days she'd become depressed and withdrawn into her shell. She was sorry that she'd shut me out, but she was just so ashamed.She'd recently also discovered that she was pregnant and she just didn't see a way out of that. She was afraid to face me with the news that she was carrying someone else's child, especially when she'd put off having children of our own.She saw no way out so she'd decided to take her own life.It was a lot to process, in a short amount of time. I pulled her to me hugging her and told her that nothing would ever separate us. I also told her that loved her too much to let her go. We both cried and I held her until her nurse came in and told me that I could come back the following day, but I needed to go home.The nurse also told me that. It would be a while before Helen could come home. She had to stay in the hospital for 72 hours for observation, and then she'd have to be. At a certain point in the conversation he mentioned that perhaps it was about time for 'it'. As I had no idea what they were talking about, I assumed he was about to give me my punishment. By now, I was used to them talking about me and about every other matter, in my presence, like I wasn't there. It took them months to train me not to comment or to interfere in their conversation.She said that having me keep them had certain benefits, it kept me eager to please, in the hope that one day I could get into her panties or at least I would be granted some relieve. ‘There is no danger she can impregnate someone anyway’, she said. One of the first things he had insisted on when he moved in with us (at the time there was still an 'us' in those days), was to have me 'snipped'. He didn't want to see her accidentally get pregnant with something that came from me.He said that he thought it would be inhumane to let me keep any male properties, when there was no chance in this world of me.
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