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Feelings of guilt and anger churned inside me. My emotional reactions toward Marissa were warranted and clear. She used me. I hadn’t expected it, didn’t want it, but it was so. When it came to Danna I was, for the first time, confused about how I felt toward her. I hadn’t seen her since the night she cooked me dinner. That wasn’t like her. It occurred to me to call her, but I didn’t want to think about what I needed to say. I needed a drink. An unopened bottle of Glenlivet was sitting in my liquor cabinet at home. It was calling my name. I pulled onto my street but stopped two houses away when I saw Danna’s car in the driveway. I pressed my foot to the gas and headed for the interstate. Forty minutes later I was on the opposite side of town pulling into the parking lot of my favorite dive bar, The Bait Shop. I walked through the door and saw that every coin operated pool table was in the same place. Every red vinyl bar stool lined the bar like it always did. I smiled, relieved that. Hooked she's simply! I know a lot about her, as she was still sometimes honest before getting eightteen.I know her mental problems after she almost drowned in a cold lake, as a young teen.She often changed her behaviour to me, while I kept my identity: open, honest and fair.She publicly declared her everlasting love to me in a few long public poems at my wall.She followed it up by either neglect of my messages or playing her 'games', how unfair.She sometimes seems 'posessed' by the 'bad witch' she met in that lake. It's her 'wall'.How big the bad luck of losing her identidy here, a fortnight before her eighteenth.How big the bad luck she started a new one immediately, less honest, only her age not.How bad the change from an obnoxious 'Gothic' girl with some 'dark sides of the moon'.How bad the behaviour as 'Nobility of (b)lack (of) colour'. I hide her name, my discrecy.I understand well now her basic tactics and strategies in the game she tries to play.I understand well her few basic.
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