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Most of the patrons were a bit older than Jim. Jim was being careful to back the Pontiac out into the road without going over on Hildy’s parents’ lawn. ‘I’ve never been to the Shakespeare Room,’ Hildy said as Jim peered into the side view mirror. ‘Me, neither,’ Jim admitted. He completed backing out of the driveway and they were on their way out of the little hamlet where Hildy lived and driving toward the State Highway. Jim glanced over and saw that Hildy’s eyes were bloodshot, in addition to her face having turned red. ‘Feel okay, Hildy?’ ‘I’ll be fine,’ she sniffed. Jim searched for the right thing to say. He knew he had to say something. ‘We don’t have to go to the Shakespeare room,’ he said at last. ‘We could go somewhere else.’ Hildy shook her head and Jim saw a tear roll down her cheek for just a second, which she wiped away before she thought Jim could have seen it. Hildy wasn’t talking, but Jim felt that he understood the problem. ‘Hey, Hildy, I’m sorry about the other. Could be some sort of tuna or chicken salad, some hummus, a bunch of grapes or a honey-yoghurt dessert. Today it was a small white cardboard box that held a large profiterole, about five inches in diameter. I know these things as ‘Bossche bol’ in Dutch, or as a ‘Moorkop’ (Moor’s head) if covered in chocolate fondant icing, but I’m aware there are regional variations so I cut into this one to make sure it was filled with whipped cream and not, say, goats’ cheese or salmon.It exploded in my face, sounding like a wet fart.“GODGLOEIENDE GODVERDOMME!” I bellowed. That’s Dutch for ‘oh deary me’. I was covered from head to sternum in goopy, sticky cream! It had gotten into my eyes, too. I stood up and staggered back, almost stumbling over my chair. I had enough presence of mind to change my rants to English, but not nearly enough self control to stop cursing altogether. It didn’t help that I caught sight of myself in a mirror, which was fixed to the outside of the wardrobe. Bloody hell, I.
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