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They said okay the girls both found short little dresses that Lynn kept there. Chuck and I dropped are boxers pulled on shorts and shirts. We drove to town with everyone behaving themselves. As we ate we talked about what to do next but nothing about last night. The girls drank a whole bottle of champagne already and had a pretty good buzz going. Lynn said that she wanted to take Joan and Chuck for a boat ride on the lake. It was late summer now but still warm but not many people were around this time of year. On the way back to the house Lynn said she wanted us all to ride nude in the boat. She told us that when Rick and her did that she almost came just bouncing along. Joan said that she had never been nude outdoors before. Chuck said it is kind of a real turn on knowing that you might get caught. I told her lets start with are bathing suits on that after we were out on the lake if no one else was there we could all get naked. They had brought their bathing suits to use in the hot. I say that,though I'm not convinced that what we had was love at all. I mean,really, who the hell knows what love is anyway? What we had, was sixmonths together. Only six months. And what we had was twisted andwonderful and difficult. I guess you could say that our relationshipwas... complex.But then, I guess every eighteen-year old thinks their first seriousrelationship is the most intense and complicated thing in the world. It'sso hard to keep perspective on these things. That was seven years ago.It's funny, when I think back about it. Not that I do very often. Thinkabout the past, that is. She's not something I like to think about. Ithink that's what makes me sad and angry most of all: that the onlyperson I've ever loved is also the only person I've ever truly hated. Nowonder I went insane there for a bit once we were through.That's not true. What makes me really mad, is this: that when I thinkback and try to picture Kate... I can't. It's been seven years; God, onlyseven years..
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