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You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I might as well pee, as long as I’m here”.Pharmacist to a customer: “Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing your marriage certificate and your wife’s picture is not enough.”A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman “Which book has helped you most in your life?”The woman replied, “My husband’s check book”“Political Correctness is just fascism pretending to be manners”—George CarlinMary Poppins, you’re under arrest for Supercallifragilisticsextrafficking.“And with that kiss, Sleeping Beauty woke up at last and immediately reached for the pepper spray.”“Hello, Suicide Hotline? It’s Eeyore again...”He was put into the CAT scanner. Unfortunately, the cat was still in it.After months of tests, doctors finally found what had caused his blindness. He’d been masturbating too much.Was my French teacher into golden showers? Oui!DVD:. As she looked around his place, Janice was pleasantly surprised at how clean and orderly things appeared."Wow, Vince," Jan said. "Do you live here by yourself?" Yeah," he replied. "My parents own the house and they give me a deal on the rent while I'm finishing school." I have to ask. Does your mom come and keep things clean for you?" Oh, no, no. I take care of everything." I am impressed, Vince."Vince invited Janice to sit in an upholstered chair and he sat in another across from her."Thanks, Mrs. S." I didn't expect to see a guy who's ... how old are you?" I'm 22." I didn't expect that a guy your age, especially one who lives alone, to keep his place so nice." Well, it's just what I do. But um, thanks for saying that." You're welcome. So, Vince, I'm sure you can't imagine why I'm here." Uh, not really, no." Well, I've kind of gotten in the loop of what's been going on with you, and Gabby, and Lizzie. And from the things I've picked-up here and there from the two of them, and from.
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