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I have a sense of fairness about this, and I don’t really know what to do.”Stacy frowned. “Hmmm. I see what you mean, and I feel I know you, so I can understand the dilemma I pose.”“Thank you.”Stacy brightened, “Hey, you said I was cute and that I sort of turned you on, right?”Matt carefully said with some degree of suspicion, “Right.”“So, have you ever just talked to a girl you’d never met before in a conversation? You know, you kind of hit on someone you’d like to know better? Certainly you must have when you were in college if not many times since then.”“Yeah,” Matt said slowly, starting to sense where the conversation was going.“So, here I am in aisle fourteen looking at light bulbs – looking all cute and sexy, and you come along and feel all these wonderful vibrations from me or with me or whatever. So you decide to say something to me.” She picked up a light bulb from the shelf and started to look at the packaging.Stacy made a little gesture with her hands as though it was. So…”I looked at my wife over Dylan’s shoulder. “Whoa, you win. As birthday presents go, having a half-naked coed wandering around our…”My wife held up her hand and was biting her lip to fight back her laugh, “Hold on genius, you didn’t let Dylan finish.”I looked back down at Dylan, she was smiling up at me as she waited patiently. “I was going to say that I’m not wearing any pants so you can fuck me whenever you want while I’m here for the weekend.”I felt woozy, the entire world rotated left about three degrees.“But only?” My wife, looked at Dylan and arched an eyebrow.“Oh yeah,” Dylan nodded and smiled even brighter, “just in my butt though. Sorry, anal only. Merry’s rule.”In the pause that stretched out after, the first thing I thought to do was look around for some hidden cameras. This had to be a joke.“You’re… you’re serious?”“Yep,” they answered in stereo.My wife made her “patient face” while she cracked open a few pistachios from a bowl on the counter. It’s the face she makes.
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