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Nothing major." I heard some of it." There were three incidents that I know of," I continued. "The first time was in March. Mr. Parker had left his car here overnight for some reason and somebody trashed it. Cut the tires, spray-painted the windows, that sort of thing. Not to sound too paranoid, but I was in Seattle when it happened, and I have witnesses to prove it."Mr. Reed smiled and nodded. Not that I thought he'd suspect me, definitely not my style, but I'd been trying to make a joke. The joke fell flat and brought back memories. The day Parker's car got hit was the day that Zoe... that Zoe... that Zoe got promoted to the next dimension.After a minute Mr. Reed said, "We can talk another time if it's..."I smiled. "That's okay. Just a few memories." I understand." Anyway, about the middle of April we had another problem. Somebody broke into the school, trashed some classrooms, and painted some interesting biological suggestions on the door and inside the girl's locker room." Got. ” Mander said, cracking open the Coke. “Cause it’s a better job than this lot here.”He gestured at the man on the TV, whose show was usually devoted to screaming about how the government is going to take everyone’s guns any moment now, but had changed his tune today, and was now screaming about how government irresponsibility in not regulating vaginas more strongly was going to let the terrorists win.The parts they laughed at most while flipping through channels was where the reporters and talking heads whose regular discussions had been put on hold for this “breaking story” stumbled to find ways to talk about her vagina without actually USING the word, or any of the common terms for it. Grown adults, some of whom had seen one up close before, sitting around a table at eleven o’clock at night, attempting to rapidly invent euphemisms as if there were a toddler in the room who would immediately pick up and start shouting any seemingly-attention-getting word they used; however offensive.
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