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I lived totally in the moment. And then it ended. Like the click of a locked door on a jail cell. To say I was devastated sounds so trite. I couldn’t stomach food for three weeks. I couldn’t stand to be in the kitchen cooking dinner for my family. My stomach kept heaving. I picked at pathetic morsels I’d put on my plate so my family wouldn’t notice. I lost weight rapidly, my cheeks became gaunt and my hair and skin looked lifeless. I went for my nightly walks, taking the dog with me. I sat on the bank’s edge by the creek and bawled my eyes out. My family needed me, but I couldn’t give them anything of myself. I had nothing to give. Why me? Why the hell me? Why let me fall in love so deeply, only to take it away from me? I couldn’t come to terms with the loss at all. At any point in any day, I would burst into tears. The loss of control I felt when these tears smothered me, scared me to death. I could be in my car driving in traffic to work, and suddenly this overwhelming ache would. .. well ... I just don’t know what happened. It’s all just gone horribly wrong. First I thought my friend, Carrie Pearson, had dropped dead on me. You were there, Kate. You saw how she fainted again. But not only that ... it looks like all the great advances the church had been making in accepting full nudity within the congregation has all been undone by this anti-nudity group that has slowly been growing in strength for weeks now. I was really hoping I would be able to start going to church naked all the time - even without being registered as a Nudist. But now ... now it looks like I might not be able to go naked anywhere again in public and still keep my place in the choir or even just the church in general. It’s all gone just so horribly wrong and I just don’t know what to do. Mom and Reverend Unsworth are even cutting their honeymoon short by a whole week just to get back here to sort the whole mess out. It’s horrible, just horrible.”Mrs Terrence looked softly at Jessie then.
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