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" You know, I never thought of it that way. Thanks for listening. I think I will try to go to bed again, good-morning." Ditto, love yahs. Take care."She was about to log off, when she decided to write Douglas an email. Maybe, if she put her thoughts down in writing, he would think again, and not push her away."My Blue-eyed devil,How can I tell you what is on my heart, without hurting and crying? A part of me wants to get to know you and fall deeper in love with the other side of you (the one I do not see in bed). I want to scream, "Why not?Then I rationalize things and tell myself, I understand. Until the next day, then I miss you once more and start crying again. Damn-it, I wanted you to be my love, the only man in my life, forever.However, deep down I know that we will never have that kind of love. I also know that part of my feelings stem from what I did not find with Bryan. I know these are rebound feelings that I am having. Although, we may thing it real love. It is not the kind. They had been the inspiration he had needed to leash his affliction. When they had had met (well, he had met Mary first) at Harvard, It had been unchained and a daily presence in his life. Meeting the Abernathy sisters, those brilliant, funny, and beautiful women, had made him decide it was time to check himself before he irrevocably wrecked himself. And everyone else, too. He had gone to every meeting possible, sat with a half dozen psychiatrists and even a few hypnotists, ironic as it might have been. After three years he finally felt like he was in control and good fortune was smiling on him. Maybe he did deserve a little treat.Back to scrolling through the destinations on the airfare website, he passed Fiji, Bora Bora, and Miami without a second glance. Beaches weren't really his thing. Pasty white skin and a flabby stomach weren't a great combination with swim trunks. Then his gaze settled on a city break trip that tickled some dormant brain cells. Saint Petersburg. Why was that.
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