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. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!’ The Irishman replied, ‘Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!’Lemon Squeeze There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, ‘Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.’ The priest said, ‘Confess your sins and be forgiven.’ The young woman said, ‘Last night my boyfriend made passionate love to me seven times.’ The priest thought long and hard and then said, ‘Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.’ The young woman asked, ‘Will this cleanse me of my sins?’ The priest said, ‘No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.’Catholic Dog Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, ‘Father, my dog is dead ... Could ya’ be saying’ a mass for the poor creature?’Father Patrick replied, ‘I’m afraid not; we cannot have. I may need them."Ian dropped and rolled, coming up with his plasma rifle and fired. Liquid plasma flew through the image of a young woman and smashed into the wall behind her, bursting into flames.Elizabeth looked over her shoulder and a force field came on and smothered the plasma fire before it could spread."I will not hurt you Sergeant McGregor nor will I hurt your wives. Welcome aboard the USS Ark Royal, CV 1 of the Terran Navy, if you like you may come to the bridge to see what is going on." Who are you? Ian asked as he kept his rifle on the hologram."I am Elizabeth Howler and I am the ship's AI/Interface, I have locked down all the access ports for this ship. I had forgotten about the maintenance hatches but that oversight has been corrected." Can you tell us what else is going on?" Judy asked as she removed the pack full of explosives."Well, Judy, it seems that your destruction of the two destroyers has upset their plans, they are airlifting all prisoners off of the station.
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