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“You need a Swedish girl, Steve. Whether it’s Sofia, Tina, Suzanne, or Karin doesn’t matter. I don’t think you’ll be happy with an American girl in the long run.”“What makes you say that?” I asked.“The way you view life, your attitudes towards sex, your ideas for raising your children. All of that fits better with your Swedish girls than any of your American girls, especially Kara.”“Well, Kara’s out of the picture,” I said. “And Stephie and I see pretty much eye-to-eye on most things.”“Marry a Swedish girl, Steve,” she said just as the limos pulled up.I saw Sofia smile slightly at Katt’s command.Everyone got into the cars and we were quickly whisked to Västra Frölunda. As we entered the church, I saw about a hundred people already seated and waiting for the ceremony to start. We took our places and a moment later the priest began reading from the service book. This was the second marriage I’d been involved in, and I was glad that this one would create far less drama than the first,. The angel in charge of these things told him, “Because you were an unbeliever and a doubter and a skeptic, you will be sent to Hell for all eternity -- which, in your case, consists of a place where no one will disagree with you ever again!”A visitor to a Unitarian Universalist church sat through the sermon with growing incredulity at the heretical ideas being spouted. After the sermon a UU asked the visitor, “So how did you like it?”“I can’t believe half the things that minister said!” sputtered the visitor in outrage.“Oh, good -- then you’ll fit right in!”For Jews, the deity is YHWH. For UU’s, it’s YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).There was a terrible car accident. A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one.
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