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I had the bedroom and Mike was to sleepon the sofa bed, I had decided Mike would never see me except as Sheila,lest he see my picture somewhere and put it all together. We got a quickbite at a nearby Chile's and went back to the hotel to watch pay perview movies. My mind wasn't on the screen. I kept thinking about whathad gone on today.My therapist had told me once that my urge to cross dress was strongestwhen I was under stress. Like when it was getting too hard to be Stuart,I would take refuge for a short time and become Sheila as a way to copewith stress. I thought maybe he was right if stress brings out Sheila,the more stress, the more Sheila, and I had never been under this muchstress nor ever attempted to be Sheila this long. Certainly Sheila hadnever interacted with men to this extent, and in one way, I was afraid Iwas getting a little too comfortable in Sheila's heels. In another wayif I didn't get more comfortable being Sheila it could cost me my life.I had no choice but I. I started thinking about what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go. I liked the Bahamas a lot and remembered with a stab of pain the shared dream Zoea and I had about moving here. I know I wanted to go to an island somewhere - a remote island - but nowhere near here. After breakfast I took a taxi into Nassau to the library on Shirley Street. I grabbed a couple of large atlas and sat with a pen and paper making notes.I wasn't exactly trying to hide; I was the only one in this farce with a 'pure' heart. I didn't want the hassle of my past life intruding on a hoped for peaceful new life. I finally decided on the Azores, or Açores as it showed on the map. I stopped by a travel agency and made a reservation only for the first leg, a redeye leaving at 9:30 that night for London on British Airways. I went back to the resort and after a nice lunch packed my bags and took a long nap. When I awoke I wrote a letter to Zoea. On the way out, I left it with the bartender. She had flirted enough.
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