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Those recipients don't send me junk mail now.This particular letter was a LETTER ... not some multicolored extravaganza promising the moon if I would only...FINAL NOTICETHIRD NOTICE MAILINGWith my FULL Name under that, the complete address and the correct ZIP.Up in the left hand corner resided the name of a prominent Michigan Law Firm. Lo these many years ago, I lived in Michigan. Now I live where it's warm.'I wonder who thinks I owe?'Curiosity overcame caution and I slit the envelope.From the desk of ... blah, blah, blah, acting for the attorney for the estate.'Hmm? Who died?' I sighed and unfolded the letter. A blue rectangle fluttered to the ground. I stepped on it.Enclosures get short thrift from me.Mr. Austin:Enclosed find a check from the solicitors acting on the orders of the Last Will and Testament of one George Arthur George, Deceased. Within 90 (ninety) days of receipt, you,... insert my name ... must present your body and bonafides to the office detailed below. BLAH BLAH. I had my suspicions why. Mark’s friend Phil paid attention to me as well, but not the attention I wanted. Phil made it his personal mission to open the world up to my sexual preference. Phil’s favorite game? Out the Dyke in the hall.“Listen dyke…” Phil said.“Hey Phil, it’s cool. Paula is my friend.” Mark said.“Whatever dude, she’s a fucking carpet muncher. You are wasting your time.” Phil said.I tried to be brave and stand up in the face of such a repressed homo like Phil but I couldn’t help myself. I cried.“BooHoo, oh I made the lesbo cry! Oh Tina, would you munch my carpet?” Phil mocked.“Why certainly Paula! Let’s go make dyke love at the lake. Oh wait! I’m not a fucking dyke whore!” Phil’s friend said.“That doesn’t matter, come here and let me make beautiful lesbo love to you.”“Oh…mmm..mmm…mmmm” and the two pretended to make out. Even between my tears I had to let out a little snicker. Mark tried not to laugh. I felt my spirits lighten a little at the smiles but then Phil turned.
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